I recently came across this question in an online forum, and I thought it would be helpful to collate the answers into a blog post – since this is such a common question and struggle for Side B Christians! I asked permission from the authors of these comments, and have chosen to keep them completely … More How do you deal with a crush on a friend?

What Biblical evidence or justification is there for this kind of relationship? Celibate partnerships are a form of covenant friendship, much like Ruth and Naomi or David and Jonathan. I would recommend Ron Belgau’s article ‘Love, Covenant and Friendship’ for more in-depth insights on this topic. Some people prefer to use categories like committed/covenant friendship, … More FAQ About Celibate Partnerships and Covenant Friendships

“I definitely believe that chaste committed relationships can happen and be successful. Having been in relationships of this sort, I will say that they are challenging, but what relationship isn’t? There are some things that make these sorts of relationships even more challenging, but I’m not sure I would lay out any set of dos … More Insights on Celibate Partnerships from Three Side B Christians

I want to share a bit more about my experience with finding platonic “cuddle buddies” online, as it’s relatively unusual and there isn’t a lot written about it online. It’s new and uncharted territory, so there aren’t many guidelines about how to proceed. Firstly I want to share my personal experiences, then I want to … More My Adventure with Platonic Cuddling – Plus 12 Tips for Newbies

    The following articles describe a number of different kinds of platonic relationships, from mixed-orientation marriages (MOMs), to celibate partnerships, to queer platonic relationships. Please note, these articles come from a range of perspectives including both secular and Christian sources – so I don’t necessarily agree with everything written in them. I simply share … More 11 Articles about Platonic Life Partners and Mixed-Orientation Marriages

Part Two: Dependence in Culture, Scripture and Psychology The issue of dependence is a difficult one, especially because Christians often adopt the prevailing attitude of our Western culture – that independence is always the highest ideal we should aspire to. I’ve noticed that many Christians put a spiritual spin on it, saying we should never depend … More Why I Changed My Mind About Emotional Dependence (Part 2)

Part One: Co-dependency, Enmeshment and Attachment Style I’ve been thinking a lot about the concept of “emotionally dependent” relationships lately, as my perspectives have significantly evolved and shifted in this area. It seems that in a lot of ex-gay literature and ministry, there is an emphasis on avoiding or getting out of emotionally dependent relationships. … More Why I Changed My Mind about Emotional Dependence (Part 1)

Most of us have patterns in the kind of people we are attracted to. I know I do! All kinds of factors can come into play – personality, age, gender, status, ethnic background, etc. To some extent, this is healthy and natural. There are many wonderful and attractive qualities to be admired in others! There … More Patterns in Attraction: Developing Self-Awareness

I recently had a discussion in an online group with a guy who had read ‘Spiritual Friendship’ by Wesley Hill, and had many questions about Side B friendships. This blog post is an excerpt of our discussion, as I thought that some of the points would be relevant to most Side B Christians. Question: Is … More Side B Friendships: FAQ

Developing spiritual rhythms and learning to draw closer to God can be a wonderful antidote to loneliness and connect us with God’s healing love. Learning to find identity, love and intimacy in God’s presence has also been crucial. It doesn’t take away my need for relationships with people, of course, yet it makes such a … More Practicing Spiritual Rhythms